This year as it turns out have been rather eventful in ways that falls out of my expectations. The path of returning back to work have been a lot harder. Coming out of a harsh shock last year, I took pride that I managed to clear one of the harder to pass paper however my enthusiasm was not able to gain much foothold in terms of job hunting suitable positions.
If you asked me if I have had anything worthy to mention is that I think this year I seems to have the maturity to let go of the tendencies to compare status whether single or married and be at peace. Someone I used to know would comment that I have this fixed idea on how life should turn out. However time and experiences can really change a person’s perspective and expectation of how our life should be like. Just like how we and our surrounding are constantly evolving and changing whether we like it or not.
Being located near to the equatorial region, we do not get that much variations to the weather conditions what we usually get are periods of more constantly hot and blazing weather or rainy and wet monsoon seasons. While I usually find stretches of gloomy weather a bit depressing but there was this one rainy afternoon I had unexpectedly spotted rainbow hanging across the sky.
Hope for a better future than yesterday. 🙂
Been preparing the ground during this period of break. It is not an easy decision for me as no one knows what lies ahead and whether my desires or efforts can be blessed especially being in this hostile environment most of the times.
These few months I have been waiting for work and now I am anxious for it to be materialised.
Will my silly little mustard seeds of faith fall on the right ground for them to sprout a good harvest?
Recently the words in Jer29:11-13 that I read a long while ago resounded not really sure why it came to me where I had long let go off since the difficult phase of my adult life started gathering force.
The latter part of this year I had spent it studying, I hope my effort pays off though I am really uncertain if it will matter for next year in looking for suitable position. That day when I went to take my exam, I spotted ex-classmate or previous acquaintances that I have not seen for quite a number of years.
I have come to note that most of my previous church mates that I used to know by now most of them have moved on to the next phase of their life of having a new born while others whom married in their twenties has a second one or expecting a second one soon. Perhaps for the latter group, the introduction of enhanced Baby Bonus and promotion of SG50 helps?
During the last few months, my mum started to ask me why am I still not married? Coming from my mum it came as another surprise to me as she often worried more about money matters then being concern about whether her daughter can be hitched..
These few years I have gathered that life do not go according to our plans. I can try and take action to achieve the desires I hope for in life but sometimes external environment changed faster than the chance to execute the plans or it can be that hearts changed and people moved on.
But I gather that it is really the external factors to be blamed for my lack of blessings in my life. You just have to pray hard that you are born into the right family or at least be at the right place and at the right time. Else if life falls apart right before your eye, even the people around you will add more injury on you. Perhaps I am being very negative here as I rant. But if you know that life could have been better for you but for some sick reason you have to suffer and in the process becomes a laughing stock for the whole world to see.
I really pray that 2016 can be a breakthrough year for me in various aspects of my life and that I am finally on the right track with more opportunities to come. I pray that the Universe somehow would bless and life becomes better from on and that God have mercy and eyes on us.
Ever since I had sent off 2014 the first half of 2015 had kept me busy with doing a new job. Had different moments when I am at it, it had been a small office with just me and my colleague and both of us reports directly to my boss whom is like a motherly figure to me probably because her son is the same age with me.
However when she told me that I will be replaced by somebody more senior than me just a few days after my birthday the news really came to me as a shock.
And so now I am back to the drawing board and wondering where else would life takes me too?
In another 2 week’s time to Christmas and 3 weeks more to year end before I get to say good bye to 2014. This year has been a really hard year for me. Perhaps much harder than previous 2 years after experiencing a shocked breakup and difficulties in securing a proper job.
This time of the year can get a bit gloomy since it’s a year end of raining season. By now I have kind of adjusted to the timing to wake up and prepare to go to work. I think I still kept the discipline of the routine of working during the earlier part of this year which had been of a faster paced.
The dust settling moments comes from my decision that at the moment I would not be going away for long breaks yet at the same time I am waiting for some kind of direction in life. I am searching for some inspiration or encouragement for myself as I feel that my life now is in a limbo. Coming to the end of an assignment and am trying to prepare myself but really am uncertain where I fit in.